


local gay prince claps back

by A_Jar_Of_Indigo_Ravioli



Series: too short for a oneshot too good for a drabble collection [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Closeted Character, F/M, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Texting, Thanksgiving, and roman s n a p s, based on an article, patton is un-fuckin-hinged, roman is closeted
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:42:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24884785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Jar_Of_Indigo_Ravioli/pseuds/A_Jar_Of_Indigo_Ravioli
Summary: From: Mama <3To: Roman Duke-Prince (me)Roman Alexander what the actual fuck have you doneFrom: Papa !!!!To: Roman Duke-Prince (me)Why do i have 4 missed calls from your mother
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders
Series: too short for a oneshot too good for a drabble collection [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1800178
Comments: 4
Kudos: 50





	local gay prince claps back

“...yeah, and that’s when she called me a fag.” Roman sighed. He was sprawled out on his bed, phone pressed to his ear, calling one of the only three people he felt he could trust, who was currently thousands of miles away. “She left right after dinner. God, I can’t fucking stand her, Patt.”

“That sounds horrible, Ro. I’m telling you, you gotta come here for Christmas next time!” Patton’s voice was sympathetic, but still carried a smile. “I’ve told my family all about you and Vee and Lo and they’re all dying to meet you, my cousins would love you.” 

Roman cracked a smile. “Patton-o-mine, I can’t speak Irish.” 

“So what! I’ll translate, or we can use google translate or you can learn Irish instead of being on Instagram all the time--”

Roman’s phone buzzed. “Hold it!”

“I swear to god if you cut me off to go thirsting over Instagram dudes--”

“Nope! Nope.” He sighed, hard. “We got an apology text.”

“Oh-- oh shit.” Patton’s voice went soft. “What’s it say?”

“I hope I did not upset you today at dinner.” Roman read off, grinding his teeth. “‘It was not my intention. You need to stop being so sensitive’-- the fuck?!”  
“Just keep reading so I can hate her even more.”

“‘I did not mean faggot in a bad way’-- UGHHH-- ‘I just mean that gay men have a lot of drama.’ I am going to die.” he declared. “That was not from the text, I’m just going to die.”

“Roman Alexander Quixote Duke-Prince, we are going to deal with this in a healthy way as soon as we figure out the bitchiest reply possible to this text. I want to hear the rest!”

He sighed, and continued. “‘I tried to understand this bi shit--’”

“You said you were bi?”

“Well, it’s easier than telling my entire family that I’m a raging homo. Not by much, but.”

“Valid. Continue.”

“I tried to understand this bi shit you claim to be but you teenagers make stuff up all the time.’ Ok--”

“Ok boomer!” Patton laughed along. Roman chuckled for a moment, then kept reading.

“Your--’ not even the right ‘you’re-- young and you will find a woman. You can change. You used to be so clever--’ I can’t do this Patt.” 

“Too bad!!! You’re legally obligated to because you told me!”

Roman sighs. “If you think you cannot accept my help, don’t come to-- bitch!” Roman sat up in outrage. “She’s not letting me go to Rem’s birthday! ‘I do not want you ruining the day’ *oh my god,*” he groaned and fell back again to the indignant sounds of a dad friend. “Will god not grant me death?”

“No, they won’t, because I killed them. Now come on, you are smart and you are funny and creative and we are going to come up with a response to this!”

From: Roman Duke-Prince (me)  
To: Auntie fuckface  
hey Tia Marie!  
dw about it! i know what you’re like after a few bottles of wine. i cant make remy’s birthday im afraid, i have a huge gay orgy that day and me and the other faggots have been planning for months. by the way how’s your divorce going? i saw tio lee with his new girlfriend, she’s 20 years younger than you right? speak soon!! :D  
*Read 7:39*

From: Mama <3  
To: Roman Duke-Prince (me)  
Roman Alexander what the actual fuck have you done

From: Papa !!!!  
To: Roman Duke-Prince (me)  
Why do i have 4 missed calls from your mother

From: the stupid clone rat  
To: Roman Duke-Prince (me)  
mom’s pissd az f u ck nd tia M iz yellig  
Guud jub

From: Pattoncake  
To: Roman Duke-Prince (me)  
Was it worth it

From: Roman Duke-Prince (me)  
To: Pattoncake  
God absolutely

**Author's Note:**

> im very very sorry for procrastinating on the fic i should be writing
> 
> https://www.pinknews.co.uk/2017/08/15/teen-response-aunt-homophobic-faggot-rant/ here's the article


End file.
